Friday, 7 January 2011

The Month After Christmas ...

This made me laugh so I thought I'd share it here ...

'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste,
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared,
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese,
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt,
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.

I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished,
'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--not even a lick,
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore,
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot,
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!


  1. Hilarious! Made me chuckle too! :)

  2. This made laugh. Having been away from the computer throughout December, reading this post made it feel good to be back, browsing blogs and enjoying a smile! Thanks!

  3. brilliant. that is just how i feel now!!

  4. Ha ha. I can identify with that.

  5. That's brilliant!! I've been shuffling round the caravan with my top button undone on my largest pair of jeans and feeling that I may have overdone the Cadbury's Roses when I had bugs over Christmas and my willpower was at an all time low. Or maybe it's just the usual problem of my jeans getting smaller, yes, i bet that's it. xxxx

  6. And welcome to the post xmas doldrums, when we realise just what we have done.That was a very funny piece...LOVED it.Thankyou for sharing!

  7. So true - thanks for sharing - off to eat an apple!


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